Pope Sells Ferrari F2004 to McLaren Vatican. 28 January. The Vatican press office announced today that it had concluded a deal to sell a highly detailed model of the Ferrari F2004, which recently came into the Pope's possession, to the McLaren Corporation. "After repeated failed attempts to fit into the car and take it out for a spin, his Holiness decided to sell it instead," said Joaquin Navarro, the Vatican's press officer. "We were immediately contacted by McLaren of England, and the sale was agreed to quickly." Executives from the McLaren team, carrying suitcases full of cash, then met the Pope in the Vatican's frescoed Clementina Hall, where the final contract was signed. According to the Vatican press office, the proceeds of the sale will be used to feed the poor, heal the sick, and fund Minardi.
Disappointing Report Says Formula One Fans Still Watching Qualifying
Paris. 18 January. A report released yesterday by the marketing firm of Saatchi & Saatchi revealed that in spite of numerous attempts to make viewers watch something else, they still intend to watch Formula One qualifying. "FIA have had some very good ideas in their quest to turn fans away from watching Formula One," said Saatchi & Saatchi spokesman, Paul Graves. "Unfortunately, nothing has worked so far, these audiences are obviously tougher than the FIA expected." Concern had been growing at the FIA until two years ago that Formula One wasn't boring enough to be considered the pinnacle of the sport. Exciting qualifying sessions were thought to be endangering the suave sophistication and chess playing exclusivity, which are considered essential in the paddock. "We thought that making the cars go out one at a time would make it less exciting but unfortunately it didn't work at all," said an unnamed FIA source. "So we were hoping that holding the qualifying session when everyone is asleep might help." The numbers aren't good, though. According to the report, fans will just wake up earlier and watch it anyway. "We are at our wits' end," admitted the source. "I just wish we had never started broadcasting it."		SIDEBAR E. Jordan Cuts cost by 100% M. Mosley Proposes restrictions on talking. Sir Terry Rowduck "Indian in F1? Surely the colonies must race under an English flag?" K. Raikkonen Expects to be lapped off track next season
Pizzonia to Drive Williams in 2005! Valencia. 1 February. Antonio Pizzonia was handed the biggest break of his Formula One career on Monday, when he was announced as Frank Williams' driver after weeks of uncertainty. "Actually, when Frank told me, I didn't realize immediately," Pizzonia said. "I think still now it needs to sink in. It's been a tough few weeks...I think it is difficult for me at the moment to explain how happy I am." Pizzonia and German driver Nick Heidfeld had been rivals for the drive and Williams said it had been a close decision. "Until yesterday afternoon I wasn't really nervous, but then the closer it came to the decision the more nervous I got," said Pizzonia. "Frank was just waiting around the corner here in this hangar and he told me about half an hour before we had to go on stage." According to the WilliamsF1 press office, no laptimes will be published during the season.

About the author:
Reginald Kincaid was born on 30th November 1912. Following graduation from the Royal Military College in Sandhurst he was commissioned in the Forth Hussars in February 1931. While stationed in Egypt with his brigade in 1934, he led the famous "Elgar" high speed camel expeditions that explored and documented the vast sand seas of Libya. In his own words he soon after became addicted to the "fine art of travelling fast" but exchanged camels for cars. Kincaid's exploits in European motor racing became legendary after being documented in his best selling biography "Racing with a stiff upper lip". Reginald Kincaid retired in 1991 and has been covering motor racing ever since. He now lives in Surrey, England, and tends to his hobby of beekeeping.