Well that was a bit better. Although the winner of the race could have been predicted a couple of months ago, there was still a lot to enjoy about this race after the leader got his obligatory face time for the first five laps. I counted 18 passes, or legitimate attempted passes, in the TV coverage. This of course does not include passes in the pits which, if included, would have brought the total to an impressive 527. It also does not include David Coulthard's "attempted passes" for the obvious reason. Now if only we could see one for the lead one of these days, I would feel that I could die a happy man (once I've seen Venice of course).

DRIVERS ALL FEEL LIGHT-HEADED

This weekend, helmet manufacturer Arai showed off the new carbon fibre helmets which are now mandatory in F1. Apparently, they provide up to a 50% increase in energy absorption over the old style helmets but their main safety feature, as demonstrated by Jenson Button this weekend, is to choke the driver with the strap thereby reducing the oxygen supply to the driver's brain and the resulting desire to drive quickly – or indeed, at all.

MOSLEY POSTPONES EARLY RETIREMENT UNTIL LATER

Most F1 fans are probably aware that Max Mosley has changed his mind about his decision to retire early despite his earlier statement that "I am not an F1 team principal so I don't change my mind every few minutes." Most people, though, are unaware of the reasons for this decision except for the possibility that he is in fact a closet F1 team principal. In fact, he is staying on at my request.

As I mentioned in my last column, the FIA has finally adopted an idea that I proposed years ago - i.e. no tyre changes resulting in harder tire compounds. Given the FIA's new habit of taking my advice, I asked Max to stay on in order to implement another proposal I suggested years ago.

It has long been obvious that the best overtaking spot on a race track is a hairpin turn at the end of a long straight. This was well demonstrated in France and taken to an almost ridiculous degree this weekend in Germany, so I propose that all circuits be re-designed to incorporate nothing but fast straights and hairpin turns. This will be immediately implemented with the result that all circuits will now look like a Star of David. Israel will be awarded a race in 2005.

MCLAREN PUT THROUGH THE WINGER

Aren't moveable aerodynamic devices illegal in F1? Seems McLaren have remembered how to design a decent car but have forgotten how to use a spanner. Either that or Ron told Kimi to drive the wings off the thing.

It was a shame to see Kimi go off like that after such a good start but what I really want to know is who wants to claim the red-clad morons in the stands? Were they Ferrari fans or Schumacher fans? Whoever they were, they should be thoroughly ashamed of themselves. They should also be forced to sit in an F1 car during crash testing.

For those of you who didn't notice, fans in the stands where Raikkonen crashed could be seen celebrating wildly as Raikkonen crashed before the car had even come to a halt and before there was any sign that Raikkonen was conscious, alive and/or unhurt. With Ralf Schumacher still sidelined after a recent heavy crash you would think that Germans in particular would be a little more aware of the possibility of serious injury, or worse, in a heavy crash as Raikkonen's appeared to be. If this wasn't a family magazine, I would love to tell those "fans" exactly where they can stick their air horns (and I mean the noise-makers they carry, not the holes underneath their noses).

HELP WANTED: TROPHY PRESENTER

I hope this is not a sign of the decline of Formula One. Seems to me the list of ‘dignitaries' presenting awards on Sunday was not so much a Who's Who as a Who?

The FIA sporting regulations actually define who should present each award. (No, seriously – I'm not making this up. They also define how many bottles of water should be available, how many towels, the temperature of the interview room etc. Seriously!!) According to the rules, the winning driver's trophy should be presented by "…the head of state or the prime minister of the host country…"

There are further rules as to who can step in for these people but I'm pretty sure that they don't stipulate that the ‘Finance Minister of Baden-Württemberg' is a good second choice if the Chancellor can't make it. Isn't that position kind of like that of town treasurer? If so, it's quite possible that my next-door-neighbor will be presenting a trophy at the next US Grand Prix. I'll keep you posted because I'll probably be able to wangle a couple of pit passes if this comes off. (My neighbor is a typical American and thinks F1 is how Prince Charles swears).

SILLY SEASON UPDATE

Trulli's going to Toyota (probably); Webber's going to Williams (inevitably); Heidfeld's also going to Williams (in his dreams) and Coulthard's going home (finally). Villeneuve, Hakkinen and Pizzonia are also going to Williams although it's generally thought that this will make the cockpits a little bit cramped. Bumgardner's going back to Hungary to beg for some more money and Bruni's going to try and find somebody else to drive the other Minardi who won't be quite as quick as Zsolt. Michael Schumacher's future remains in doubt.

AND FINALLY...

I went to a Formula One event this weekend and a race broke out.