Schumacher allows Barrichello to drive brand new F2003GA in Malaysia "Only fair to Rubens," says graceful World Champion The Ferrari F2003GA fuelled up and ready for Barrichello's exclusive use Fiorano, Italy. Formula One World Champion Michael Schumacher announced today that as a sign of good will he has decided to let teammate Ruben Barrichello drive the new Ferrari F2003GA in the next Grand Prix in Malaysia. "I had some criticism last year when I was the first driver to drive the new Ferrari after having exclusively tested it as well," said Schumacher. "So to even things out Rubens will use the new car in Malaysia while I'll use the reliable F2002." Ross Brawn, Ferrari's technical director, said that Barrichello had been extremely pleased when told about Schumacher's decision. "He ran like a little puppy towards the sandtrap where the car was buried and started digging it out with the SchumiShoveltm Michael gave him for his birthday. It is also great, as the car needs some testing and Luca Badoer refuses to drive the car anymore." The interview was interrupted by a radio crackle in the Ferrari pit, as Barrichello whizzed by in the new car: "Mr. Brawn! The car scares me." ...And then 10 seconds later: "Mr. Brawn, Mr. Brawn! I think I heard something snap in the back of the car." "Just normal issues in testing. And talking of testing, let's test the Radio ban," said Brawn and unplugged his headset. "Yes, we here at Ferrari hope that Rubens will be pleased with the new car in Sepang, and if not we can always replace it with a Fiat."		JOS "THE BOSS" VERSTAPPEN VOWS TO UNIFY WDC & WCC TITLES "I'll float like butterfly and sting like a bee," says the star driver "The Boss" preparing in the pits for qualifying Amsterdam, Holland. Dutch driver and part time boxer Jos “The Verstappen” announced today that he vowed to unify the WDC and WCC titles this year. "It is ridiculous that we have this division in our sport," said Verstappen. "Who is the true champion? The one carrying the WDC belt or the one carrying the WCC belt?" According to insiders, the Dutch superstar is supposed to have trained heavily in Barcelona, Jerez and a Philadelphia meat locker in anticipation of the season ahead.
Master Passer Montoya overtakes himself in a brilliant move "Best overtaking ever," say fans Melbourne, Australia. Colombian superstar and Williams driver Juan Pablo Montoya outdid himself at the Australian GP last week. "I was driving very fast in the lead and coming into the first corner," described Montoya, "when I looked in the mirror and noticed the rear wing of a car I hadn't overtaken before. Me!" According to observers, Montoya bravely waited until the last moment before slamming the brakes in a desperate attempt to outbrake himself. "I thought to myself, Hey! This guy is good, he was so late on the brakes, but it was all good fun!" Montoya's manouvre was acclaimed by the press as the greatest overtaking move ever, after the Colombian not only passed himself but also overtook McLaren driver David Coulthard and moved from 1st to 2nd place in the race. "Yes, of course I am pleased, but that is what we are paid to do," said Montoya. "In the end, though, we are all friends off the track and I'll be having dinner with Myself later tonight just to show there are no hard feelings."
The Melbourne 2003 GP Photo Review The F1 drivers of 2003 The F1 drivers group shot has become a regular event at the start of the season, and 2003 was no different. "Don't shoot!" These three local goons were arrested by FIA security when trying to steal the podium from Ferrari regulars.		SIDEBAR J. Villeneuve Replaced car radio with expensive CD system P. Stoddart Demands equal sharing of championship points Sir Terry Rowduck "Regulation changes? How about raised banners so we can spot the Huns and Frogs from the Queen's men?" M. Mosley ...and on the seventh day he rested.

About the author:
Reginald Kincaid was born on 30th November 1912. Following graduation from the Royal Military College in Sandhurst he was commissioned in the Forth Hussars in February 1931. While stationed in Egypt with his brigade in 1934, he led the famous "Elgar" high speed camel expeditions that explored and documented the vast sand seas of Libya. In his own words he soon after became addicted to the "fine art of travelling fast" but exchanged camels for cars. Kincaid's exploits in European motor racing became legendary after being documented in his best selling biography "Racing with a stiff upper lip". Reginald Kincaid retired in 1991 and has been covering motor racing ever since. He now lives in Surrey, England, and tends to his hobby of beekeeping.