In this week's issue:

• Woodn't it be Good
• US Car Thieves Prefer Cadillac Escalade

  Woodn't it be Good

When the car was first invented it was largely made from wood. The wheels were wooden, the chassis was wooden and various other bits of the body and interior were fashioned from old logs too. But times change.

Nobody makes wheels or chassis out of trees these days (with the exception of the refuseniks at Morgan) and yet for some reason manufacturers persist in producing dashboards and door caps from bits of lacquered lumber. Why? The acknowledged justification is that wood is posh and prestigious, presumably in the same way that colour TV and an indoor toilet prove you're a bona fide member of the middle classes. Except that nobody under the age of 90 has a black and white telly or a privvy in their back yard any more.

What is most surprising is that even those experts in clinical modernism, the Germans, can't resist gumming scraps of burr elm about the cabins of their more prestigious models. They may have been among the pioneers of brushed aluminium and soft-touch plastics, but you can still order an M3 with bits of drinks cabinet littering its interior. Far Eastern manufacturers are no better either. They've been tacking strips of anaemic-looking balsa onto the centre consoles of 'premium' models for years and now that the Japanese make such accomplished luxury cars, the quality of the wood and the depth of the shine are only getting better (which, of course, is even worse).

Jaguar Out Of Control

Meanwhile, Jaguar's fetish for bits of forest has spiralled out of all control. Have you been to a Jaguar dealership recently? Naturally enough, the receptionist sits behind a computer, but it is no ordinary computer. The keyboard and screen are clad in wood! In fact, worse still, it's fake wood; a bulky, brown textured plastic that is ugly and looks ridiculous. It wouldn't be out of place on Barney Rubble's desk.

Fortunately, Jaguar's glorious XK-R is anything but ugly or ridiculous. Of course, it can be ordered with a Grey-Stained Bird's-Eye Maple dashboard (bad as this looks, it sounds even worse, doesn't it?), a timber finish that is more Pina Colada than Vintage Port, but fortunately does nothing to diminish the hedonistic joy of this car.

The XK-R is a two-door convertible (or hard-top coupe) and develops 400bhp from a supercharged 4.2 litre, V8 engine. It will deliver you (but not your kidneys or your wits) to 62mph in just 5.2 seconds and encourage you on to 155mph should you so choose. If Flash Gordon had been in need of anything as tedious as ground-based transport, he would have driven an XK-R. The engine is mated to a silken six-speed automatic gearbox and while the car is smooth and docile at mortal speeds, it is transformed into a whining rocket sled once you plant your right foot.

By any measure this Jaguar is fast and it looks fast too. The slightly oversize, but elegant, contours of the regular XK convertible become sheer beauty on the R. In a dark colour, with contrasting hood and sporting the exquisite 20" BBS nine-spoke rims, it is the epitome of a Jag roadster: fast and luxurious; graceful and drop-dead gorgeous.

Naturally, the interior is the equal of its looks and performance. As seems traditional with 2+2 sports cars, the rear seats are more pointless than a wooden computer but then nobody spends 63 grand on a Jaguar convertible if they have to worry about where the kids are going to sit. It is lavishly appointed and cosseting, as you'd expect, although there is just a hint of the homemade, here and there. The lids on one or two stowage compartments look like the leather is pulled a bit tight; the cut-outs for the switch-gear are too fussy; a smell of petrol rushes back at you with the roof or windows down. But then without the odd foible, it wouldn't be a Jaguar, would it? And if it isn't quite your style, what about a Lexus SC430 instead?

Lexus Gets the Vote

The convertible Lexus wins my vote as the most under-rated, over-criticised car on the road. Its looks are not popular among the motoring press but, without being as svelte or graceful as the Jaguar, they still lend the car an undeniable presence and are not the aberration some seem to think either. The car's lack of handling prowess is another oft-mentioned moan although in up-rated 2003 guise, some of the SC430's less favourable traits have actually been improved. It certainly suffers from more scuttle shake than it should, as does the Jaguar, but in every other respect both cars are highly desirable GT convertibles ­ albeit for two! The Lexus also has rear seats that serve no other purpose than to carry shopping but otherwise it is one of the best ways of covering long distances in first-class luxury. The truth is, neither car was designed to be a track day tool. These cars are all about al fresco luncheons in the south of France, not tyre-shredding doughnuts in a south London car park.

But like the Jaguar, this Lexus is fast. Not as brutally so, but still it reaches 62mph in just 6.4 seconds. The 4.3 litre V8 engine develops 282bhp, some 118bhp down on the Jaguar, but with an equally creamy auto shift (with semi-automatic feature), the difference in outright power never seems that great.

Whatever the Lexus may lack in carnal thump it more than makes up for in passenger comfort. Like the Jaguar, the interior is awash in leather (and buffed-up bits of bark, naturally) but unlike the Jaguar, it is a master class in ergonomic luxury. Where the XK-R emphasis is on heritage and charm, the Lexus is efficient and advanced. Beautifully damped soft-touch fascias conceal the satellite navigation console and the outstanding Mark Levinson audio system sits behind a similarly slick door. The aluminium hard-top roof is an interactive exhibition of engineering art, electrically folding beneath a metal tonneau in less than 20 seconds. Stunning to watch and a pleasure to use, it is still impossible to ignore the fact that when down, it also renders the boot hopelessly useless but I presume one can always store the golf clubs at the golf club!

Benz-SL Leader of the Pack

Of course the leader of the drop-top pack is the Mercedes Benz-SL. Even in standard form it is a better handling car than either the Jaguar or the Lexus, but an SL500 will set you back a whopping £70,000. For this money, you certainly get kudos and high-quality engineering but nothing like the specification of the other two cars. The XK-R isn't exactly a snip at £63,350 but a standard XK can be had for £8,000 less and is still a very fast, luxurious open-top GT in its own right. Which leaves the Lexus, with a standard specification that seems to go on forever, and an on-the-road price of 'just' £50,855.

The Jaguar and Lexus are different, but borne of a similar objective. Neither is the perfect driver's car; both are glorious high-speed cruisers with the badge and presence to turn heads. I can't actually use my sofa for snowboarding but it's still damned comfortable for watching TV and both the Jaguar and Lexus are similarly accomplished at what they are supposed to do. If you're in this market, I very much doubt you'd be disappointed with either. On a purely personal note, I'd just rather they weren't burnished with bits of buffed-up timber all over the place.

  US Car Thieves Prefer Cadillac Escalade

The Cadillac Escalade, the sport utility vehicle made popular by rap stars and athletes, also has a big following among car thieves.

General Motors had the highest rate of theft claims among U.S. vehicles over the past three model years, according to a study released by a US auto safety research organization funded by car insurance companies.

The Escalade had 10.3 theft claims per 1,000 vehicles over a year, compared with an average of 2.6, said Kim Hazelbaker, senior vice president with the Insurance Institute for Highway Safety, which conducted the study.

The extra equipment many people put on their Escalades, such as expensive aluminium wheels and multi-screen DVD players, may be the reasons why the SUVs are targeted by thieves, Hazelbaker said. The Dodge Stratus, from DaimlerChrysler, ranked second, followed by the Mitsubishi Mirage, the Jeep Wrangler and the Lincoln Navigator.

The Escalade topped the list despite being equipped with an anti-theft ignition immobilizer, which automatically disables the engine, and GM's OnStar communications service. GM has run advertisements of OnStar operators helping police locate a stolen vehicle.

However, the Escalade also had the highest average insurance charge to cover theft losses, a rate of $167, more than double the next highest rate of $75 for the Chevrolet Corvette and far above the $15 average.

"We don't know whether this is a case where thieves are ahead of the curve," in figuring out how to defeat OnStar, Hazelbaker said.

The study also found that about two of every 1,000 of 2002 model year vehicles in the United States are stolen, down significantly from about 15 in 1980, but flat with results for the past few years. The average claim resulting from theft totalled about $5,600 for 2002 model year cars and trucks, about the same as the past few years, Hazelbaker said.