The Formula One Insider

SAPANG - its not just the sound of a BAR suspension	by Mitchell McCann, U.S.A.

SILLY SEASON ENDS, REALLY STUPID SEASON BEGINS It wouldn't be Formula One if it wasn't controversial, would it? Yet again, the F1 establishment and participants have managed to do the opposite of covering themselves in glory. In a nutshell, Ferrari broke the rules; McLaren ratted them out when it suited them best; the race stewards bent to the pressure from McLaren and the FIA bowed to the almighty dollar. At least there's one thing we can always rely on. My take on the whole debacle? Just about everybody is in the wrong. Clearly, Ferrari broke the rules, as they initially conceded. It may not have been a very important rule and it may not have done them much good but most sports don't allow competitors to break the rules that they don't think are very important. (Except perhaps for soccer where you are allowed to play for Ireland if any one of your grandparents ever had a pint of Guinness). Various people from different teams have confirmed that the performance gain to be derived from this 'error' was [insert your own word for very small]. Of course, qualifying results have frequently been decided on the basis of a thousandth of a second and it would seem to me that one thousandth of a second is [insert your own word for very small]. Obviously Ferrari should have disqualified themselves from the championship out of sheer embarrassment. Do you think their production model catalogues proclaim loudly that all Ferrari parts are machined to within a pain-staking 10mm tolerance! I'll bet there are a lot of anxious Ferrari owners checking to make sure that they're not going to get wet when it rains. After all they may be stuck on the side of the highway pretty soon if a couple of cylinders only just make it within tolerance. (Of course, as a group Ferrari owners, as well as Ferrari builders, probably have a tendency to think that certain things are bigger than they look). The highpoint of the weekend for McLaren was their dismal race performance. It was all downhill from there. Quite why the scrutineers genuflected at Ron's appearance is open to speculation, none of it good, but clearly he has helped to drag F1 down to the level of the America's cup where every victory is protested, even by the winners. Initially, McLaren claimed that this was not the way that they wanted to win the championship until it became apparent that they might not win the championship this way and promptly booked tickets to Paris for the entire legal team. Meanwhile in Paris, everybody else was jumping on the 'lets make a mockery of F1' bandwagon. Bernie stated his opinion quite clearly. Max stated quite clearly that Bernie's opinion carried no weight. The FIA panel, guess what, agreed with Bernie, jumping through the same logical hoops as Ferrari in order to preserve the commercial potential of a championship showdown in Japan. Apparently, those laser micrometers are not nearly as accurate as the ruler in your kid's pencil-case. The FIA's own rules state that if a team breaks the rules it does not matter whether any advantage was gained or not and they've set precedents along the same lines on numerous occasions. Maybe there's a secret footnote that starts with the word "except." It probably ends with the words "when we feel like it." Now that Bernie's got what he wanted... I mean, now that the fair and impartial ruling of the FIA's appeals panel has ensured a season ending cliff-hanger, I think we can look forward to some sort of weirdness in Japan. The FIA owes McLaren a make-up call, Ferrari is really not all that bothered about Eddie winning the championship and Schumacher REALLY isn't all that bothered about Eddie winning the championship. Based on the underlying political situation, which has nothing to do with the relative merits of the competing cars and drivers, I predict the constructors' championship for Ferrari and the drivers' championship for Hakkinen. MEDICAL BREAKTHROUGH - LEGLESSNESS CAN BE CURED BY PAYCHECKLESSNESS Its a shame Schumacher isn't fully fit, isn't it. Having predicted all along that Schumacher would not return while Irvine still had a shot at the title, I'm not about to disagree with the majority of the motorsports press around the world who reported that the legless wonder only returned to the bosom of his team this week because Ferrari threatened to withhold his allowance. Obviously, the threat of losing the roof over your head is enough to make anybody hop to it, which is apparently one of the things that Professor Sid Watkins made him do. That would've been a fun fitness test to watch, wouldn't it? I have the utmost respect for Professor Watkins who has done much to improve drivers safety and has directly saved at least one life at the racetrack but doesn't this particular test seem a little unscientific, to say the least? Clearly the ability to push the brake pedal or escape a burning car in under five seconds could be the difference between life and death but I just can't foresee any situation where a driver might be able to avoid a serious situation by hopping up and down, except perhaps a full bladder on the podium. IN BRIEF Olivier Panis announced his retirement, which is fortunate really as in a couple of weeks he wouldn't have a job to retire from... As the official worst team in F1, BAR joined the backmarker sponsorship battle with Minardi and Arrows with Zonta spinning out beautifully showing off the sponsors on both sides of his car before coming to rest in the BAR parking lot... DC's reputation as a smooth passer was not noticeably improved by the wounded duck that he threw past Schumacher. Not exactly the Immaculate Reception, his Hail Mary pass at turn 2 was almost intercepted although for once Schumacher was not called for pass interference. (Sorry, Europe. Its football season over here)... Frentzen's test of the Jordan ejector seat proved that this new innovation is probably not the best way to get rid of Hill in a hurry especially as starting near a Benetton is so much more reliable... And the lights going out during the post qualifying press conference gave us all unique opportunity to see what Eddie Irvine looks like with his mouth shut. Commemorative prints will be available.

Mitch McCann	© 1999 Kaizar.Com, Incorporated.
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