You are probably aware (for some time now) that I've been losing my faith in F1. Bernie and Max have made it clear that they have little regard for the people who attend live Grands Prix. When Friday qualifying was abandoned, Max remarked "they" (that's us, the people who pay the money at the gates) "won't notice".

So we pay small fortunes to attend these wonderful events. The wealthier amongst us get to sit in grandstands where (if we're lucky) we get to watch the whole race on a giant TV! The less well off have to stand (after queuing for hours) up to ten people deep in order to see a fleeting glimpse of a crash helmet. In most cases the P.A. is as good useless, and once the pit-stops start only those with radios, miniature TVs and lap charts can fully follow the action.

Then there's the weather. I'm not complaining about having to sit or stand in the pouring rain for hours on end. I'm talking about the very good chance, in inclement conditions, of the race being started behind the safety car.

The days of getting the autograph of a mechanic let alone (God forbid) a driver are pretty well long gone. Therefore you will understand the chances of meeting your hero and actually talking to him are... well put it this way, you've more chance of winning the lottery.. twice in successive weeks.

I want to take you away from all this. I want to take you to a land where, although you won't get to meet the drivers, team managers or Sylvester Stallone, you will always have a front row seat (in the sun or shade whatever you prefer). And where, if you so wish your favourite driver always wins in your favourite car.

Ladies and Gentlemen let me introduce you to "Grand Prix 2".

For those dozen or so people who don't have a clue what I'm rambling about, let me explain. GP2 is a game (sorry) simulation for F1 fans to play (sorry) race on their computers. It was designed and developed by the High Priest of racing simulations Geoff Crammond.

One of the main problems with racing games, as in common with many sports games, is that they are virtually out of date by the time of release. Take GP2. It was released in 1995 yet contained much of the data for the 1994 F1 World Championship season.. Larrousse, Lotus - you get the picture. However, what makes GP2 so very special, is that with just a little work you can have the Grand Prix grid of your dreams.

You want Villeneuve in his 1997 Williams.. is that with or without Tobacco sponsorship?.. if it's without do you want the "?" or "Ro" logos.. either way you've got it. You want Alesi complete with "mirror" visor in his Benetton - is that with the FedEx or Prince decals? And hey, don't you feel it was beastly of certain sponsors to renege on their deals with Eric Broadley's Lola team.. no problem let's see how the '97 season would have turned out for Sospiri and Rosset, and let's give them a Zetec V10 for good measure.

Those of you who like me tend to live in the past needn't despair. You want to see Bruce in an open faced helmet driving one of his early Gulf McLarens.. you've got it. Whatever you want.. Ascari, Moss, Peterson, Andretti, Pete Aron even.. it's out there. You miss the old liveries of Gold Leaf Team Lotus, Yardley McLaren or Durex Surtees?.. they're all there. The one car I've so far been unable to find is Moss' 1961 Monaco winning Lotus with missing side panels - but I'll lay money that someone, somewhere is creating one as I write.

If you've always fancied the idea of designing your own car and racing it, now is your chance. Even my Canadian friends can get in on the act - make up a little "Is my driving OK?" logo and affix it to the rear wing of Schumi's car... only kidding.

Of course this isn't just about changing the colour of helmets and cars. With a little work you can have the fantasy F1 grid of all time. Not just for one race but for the whole championship.

Now in case you don't think you've got the ability to take on the world's finest, you don't have to even have to take part in a race.. you can spectate.

There's no need to spend hour after hour whizzing round Monza trying in vain to set your car up, let Heinz-Harald do it for you, then again... Maybe you're one of life's cursed souls.. just when everything seems to be going right for you the hand of fate deals you a real bummer, no problem hand the controls over to Mika. Then again you might find it impossible to keep the car going in a straight line.. the kitty litter seems to draw you like a magnet - hey, you're not doing anything that "Jos the Boss" hasn't done. Maybe you believe there's more to life than sitting with a steering wheel in front of you, pretending you're a GP driver. How about spending the afternoon chasing the Marlboro girls round the paddock it's so much more fun than racing - hi there Eddie.

You see you don't have to do anything at all. You just choose what drivers and what cars you want in your own little World Championship, decide little things like how much power the engines give out, how much grip the tyres generate and how reliable the cars are. Then you simply de-select all the drivers and let PC run the whole shebang before your eyes.

You can watch the on track action that you want to watch. No more shots of empty tarmac courtesy of a dodgy South American director. If there's no action at the front you can move to the back of the grid and watch the Tyrrells and Minardis scrapping.

If you're one of those souls who loves watching big fiery crashes you can replay your favourite moments of carnage over and over again.. you can even download other people's favourite accidents.

One of the major shortcomings of GP2 is that there are no "wet" races (although there is a programme available that allows you to run a wet Italian GP). However, seeing as there is only one certain winner of any modern wet GP, the absence of rain is not a problem.

Of course, GP2 can be as real as you want it. If it's the Japanese GP why not set your alarm clock for 4 a.m. then run the whole event? I am currently working on an idea where I can situate the PC screen where it is just about visible. I then intend to stand in the shower eating soggy hamburgers.. hey presto Silverstone. My partner devised a wonderful way to supplement her income.. she sticks Ferrari logos on various items around the house for which I am only too willing to fork out an absolute fortune. She's happy, I'm happy.

There are all manner of tricks you can get up to in order to make the race more authentic. Put a padlock on the toilet so that you're forced to use the garden or better still, walk a mile and a half to the nearest public convenience.

Invite local business people to your house for the race. Charge them an exorbitant amount of money for a few glasses of sparkling wine then lay on a buffet. Let them all watch the start of the race on your PC screen (if they're interested) and then let them return to the drinks cabinet - corporate hospitality - you'll make a fortune.

Should the worst happen and the race result is not as you want it, no problem. Simply run the whole race again.. eventually your man is bound to win.. especially if he's one of life's lucky people. See an incident on your screen that you don't like.. follow the example of a certain Herr Joachim Villstein and file a complaint with your local Police.

It is also possible to create and enforce your own rules. All of you who believe that Schumacher deserved a ban in 1998, can run as many races as you like without him. Or why not put different drivers in different cars.. say Michael in a Minardi and Jacques in a Ferrari (don't forget to remove that "Is my driving OK" decal though). Alternatively, why not invite various friends round to your house to watch a race then without warning withdraw the invitation should any of them criticise your taste in curtains or furniture.

Those on a real "Bernie" power trip could march round to a neighbour's house, instruct them to purchase GP2 and a PC to run it on whilst at the same time telling them how to run their household more efficiently.

So there you have it. The means to run the events of your dreams and hopefully get the results your driver deserves.. happy racing.

One final point. Back in 1994, I was running the original version of Grand Prix. Each week-end of a real life GP I would run the corresponding event on the computer. At that time, many of the additions that I describe above were not available. Therefore you can understand that I was unhappy about running the San Marino GP, especially as I would be forced to race (this is before I hung up my helmet) against (the by now deceased) Ayrton Senna.

Three weeks after the real event, I decided to run the simulated race. On lap 36 as I exited the Variante Bassa the message "Senna is out" came up on the screen. As I rounded Traguardo there, sure enough, was Senna's stricken McLaren. As ever I pressed the pause then replay buttons to see what had caused him to retire. The answer was very strange, for no reason whatsoever on lap 36 Senna's McLaren had simply pulled off to the side of the track. And that my friends is a true story.

Check Pieter's Grand Prix 2 Homepage for superb GP2 coverage and Microprose to order.